Trying to make a cover of this song. So millenial of me but I don't care. #before30

"God, tell us the reason youth is wasted on the young. It's hunting season and the lambs are on the run... searching for meaning. But are we all lost stars trying to light up the dark?"

I'm watching 'You've Got Mail' for the 2nd time around. Perhaps because I've had goosebumps when Dreams of Cranberries started playing at the beginning. Then I kept listening to it over and over again on Spotify despite the situation I'm in right now. 'Dreams' is a love song, you know. Now I understand what Dolores O'Riordan was feeling when she wrote and sang this. I don't remember watching this movie. I might have problems with my short term memory but my long term memory is still intact. Thank G. I guess, I waited for 21 years before watching this movie. haha.

It's 3 am in the morning and I'm wide awake until now that I'm beginning to write this. I used to be amped up in blogging. But since, I have my Facebook and Instagram deactivated, I guess I'll pour my thoughts here. I have work later at 10 am. What a joy! Gosh, why do I feel stupid? This is not me. OMG. It feels like my neurons are dying and my brain is deteriorating. I can't even start a book. Knowing me? I used to read Harry Potter in 3 hours. Now I can't even finish 1 chapter. Ugh! What's wrong with meeeee??? I can't even finish movies. Such a blessing if I finish 1 movie in a day. I'm always sleeping or thinking. I'm not overthinking, though, that I'm sure of. I'm not even consistent in writing when comparing myself 7 years ago. I felt so may heartbreaks in the past 5 years and not one made me want to write. I used to write beautiful poems or blogs after crying 10 years ago but I can't anymore. What will it take?

I really need to exercise. I need to pursue climbing. Then piano lessons. Then reading. Then mountain climbing. Resigning? Then everything will fall into place. I can feel it. 

Ohh next thing I know, I finished 2 paragraphs already. This is nice. Only because of Dreams. God, I love that song. The guitar, the drums... I hope to open up here in the next coming days, weeks, months and years... Let me tell you my thoughts about Money Heist next time. Make me remember Money Heist (from my short term memory. hehe)

Good night and good morning, Dian...

... will continue to watch You've Got Mail until I fall asleep.

 Quezon Avenue, Lucena City

Original Mocha Roll, Egg Pie and Cathedral Window Jelly inside.
Thanks much, Goldilocks!
I'm such a happy kid for a few hours...

I need to settle for less...

I have to force this now.

Movies to Watch on Netflix Tonight

• Bridget Jones' Diary (again and again)
• Hitch (At last.. lol)
• Leap Year
• Definitely, Maybe
• He's Just Not That Into You
• 500 Days of Summer
• Under The Tuscan Sun
• Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist

Random Trip to Jollibee

COMFORT FOOD WITH THE PARENTALS, WITHOUT THEM KNOWING HOW DEPRESSED I AM TONIGHT.

When I see your smile, tears run down my face...

How this world turns cold and it breaks though my soul...

Though my skies are turning gray...

Your Guardian Angel - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus 2007

This is funny but it's true at the same time. What the fuck? Sigh*

5 months to go 'til I turn 30. Wow last time I was only 10 and everyone thought the world will end on 2000.

I'm loving my short hair right now. I should've done this years ago.
But I think the timing is right. I look more Chinese/ Korean/ Japanese, though
I wish I inherited more of my Spanish blood into my looks.
What do you think?
June 2019

At The Verge of 29

I'd never thought my life would be this complicated (looking back 15 years ago). Wow, people can make you feel fed up in your life. I really miss hanging out with people who bring out the best in you. Hello 2019. I now don't know what to do in life. Guys with girlfriends ask you directly if you want to sleep with them. I mean WTF? What's wrong with the world? I'm giving up on this. It's time to slap their faces and don't ever commit to anyone. It's either "gago" or "stalker/loser" types. No, thank you. Pass.

I hate you. I hate you that much that I don't want to see you.

Nakakainis na ha. Ayoko nagpo-post ng negative pero nakakainis na. Limit ko na talaga to. Nasaktan mo ko ngayon pero tandaan mo hinding hindi na ko iiyak ulit dahil sayo!

Strange as it is to me, I have found the strength to open this account. Possibly blog something? So how's everybody?

Yet again, I need to find a way to keep my mind off things. It's the start of the second half of the year and I am useless, still. It can't go on like this. I can't believe, I'll be 27. Time for me to indulge. Time for me to fully live.

V-Day

Happy Hearts' Day, everyone!!!

Valentines' Day at RCBC Plaza, Makati

I'm sending you all my love and everything that's left of my sweetness. It's not an ordinary day for me though It's my second year to be single this Valentines' Day! It might look boring in the office today and you can't even sense the occasion but I still feel happy. I'm happy to be doing what I love today (Though hindi ko ma-practice pagka-sweet ko sa relationship. In time, I know.)  And I feel contented even though mama, papa, facebook and officemates/friends were the only ones who greeted me today (besides madami na yung more than 5. lol). Naks! I feel so mature. hahaha. 

Ang saya ko, kasi dati akala ko hindi ko kaya. Na hindi ko kaya na mag-break kami ng ex-bf  ko of almost 6 years. Pero kaya ko pala. Mas masaya pa ko ngayon. Na-realized ko na dapat matagal na kami naghiwalay at hindi talaga mag-work out yung relationship na yun kahit anong pilit at habol na gawin ko. Na-realized ko din na madami nga talaga gago sa mundo (Iba kasi pag na-sample-an ka eh) Kahit anong bait mo magagago ka pa rin. This is life! I feel a lot more stronger than I was before. Saka kahit anong gawin ko yung base na feelings ko everyday palaging masaya. For me, that's enough and I Thank you, God.

I was at Glorietta yesterday and bought some things for my laptop. Then, right after I left, I realized that the cashier gave me a large amount of change (as if I only paid half the price of the items I bought). My conscience came and I have two options:

1. Just move on with it. It's not my problem they didn't calculate it properly.

2. Go back and give them the excess change.

Of course, knowing myself, I did the latter because It's the right thing to do. I went back and looked for the woman who assisted me. I told her "Miss, sobra yung sukli mo sa kin, diba dapat **** lang?" She looked petrified and disgusted (to the woman who handed me the change) at the same time. She immediately looked for that woman and forgot to say thank you (Pero okay lang naman. Slight lang naman yung pag-asa ko na magthank you sya. lol) I never ask for something in return and I'm not the type of person "na pinapamukha yung utang na loob." Just like in my previous relationships, I always try to do the right things and would never in a million year do something that would hurt a person. And I shall stay the same. (O diba mai-relate lang sa relationship. Pagbigyan nyo na ko Valentines' Day naman ngayon. haha)

How about you? What good deed have you done, lately?

Sa mga may relationship ngayon, nagiisip ka pa ba ng tama o mali o deadma lang sayo?

I want to do a lot of things. But, I keep on waiting around for something (Take note: something not someone -para sa mga assuming!)

I still feel the same (in life)
Something has to change.
I'm still not motivated to write.
I still feel tired all the time.

C-I-T-A-D-E-L ~ An Acrostic Poem!

C-an you stay awhile?

I-t won't be the same without you

T-though I know it will be for your own good

A-lways remember that you'll always have a friend in me and

D-on't ever forget all the memories we've shared

E-ven when you're already distant from this place,

L-iving your dreams far away